How long has it been since the last time I browsed my social media feeds? I looked at my planner and I was surprised that it’s over a month already. I still remember the day I decided to temporarily deactivate my Instagram account. Not only that, but I also mute all the group chats that I am in on Messenger and I don’t have to worry about Facebook because I never (or rarely) open it. That day was a few days after I came home from work, not feeling well. I came to a point again that I got tired of everything. There’s just too many thoughts and emotions that I can’t understand where it’s coming from. All I want is to just disappear.
For the first few days, every time I wake up in the morning, I always find myself unconsciously reaching my phone and go to my SNS folder, where my social media apps are. I was looking for the Instagram app, only to find that it wasn’t there. That made me realize how glued I was to it. Not only in the morning, but also throughout the day.
Since we are on quarantine and there are no social media to entertain or distract me, I’ve had so much time to rest, think about things and reflect. I started doing things I never thought I’d be able to commit to. I have been very consistent with the habits I have started and I started to focus on my studies since all classes are moved online throughout the semester. I even started reading Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I also enjoy my downtimes by talking to my family overseas and watching good movies and Korean dramas. I watched Hi Bye, Mama! and now The King: Eternal Monarch. But some days, I just do nothing.
Over time, I felt more at peace without social media. I am not updated about the latest gossips and news about other people anymore. I only get notifications on Messenger every time someone mentioned me in the group chat or when someone messaged me privately.
For the first time, I felt different but in a good way. I realized that so much time has been wasted from browsing through social media feeds that I run out of time doing the things I need to do and the things that are important to me. Throughout my reflections, I started to become aware of the things I want to keep in my life.
However, even though I enjoyed my time away from social media, there are times when I wonder if I will still be going back to it. Am I going to permanently deactivate my account? I don’t know yet.